


To Fall In Love With A Statue.

by random_to_the_core



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack?, F/M, Funny, I'm back, LadyNoir - Freeform, Miraculous one-shot, Puppeteer 2, Puppeteer 2 but reversed, Season 3, Spoilers, Swearing, Take this.... THOMAS, back off y'all this person is mad af and is about to humiliate the shit out of Adrien/Chat Noir, jk, oh GAWD that EPISODE, omg just read it it's fluffy, statue scene reversed, statues EVERYWHERE, yesh I'm mad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:47:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24239041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/random_to_the_core/pseuds/random_to_the_core
Summary: Ladybug had seen better days.Fighting Lila, dealing with Monsieur Pigeon, facing sentimonster Bugette, and heck, even fighting Hawkmoth had all been on the list of her either weirdest or completely horrifying days.But, honestly. She’d seen better.How she ended up on a rooftop on a fine Parisian evening, unable to move and rendered utterly helpless under an unexpected akuma’s effect? Well…
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 11
Kudos: 95





	To Fall In Love With A Statue.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Slytherclaw_Spice_and_Everything_Nice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slytherclaw_Spice_and_Everything_Nice/gifts).



> Look, I'm a serious author. I am used to writing serious situations. But this needed to happen.
> 
> Maribean with that statue scene made me CRINGE but I'm mad at the creators I mean COME ONE okay you show Adrien like a cool guy BUT GUYS HAVE THEIR AWKWARD MOMENTS TOO. You don't have to humiliate Marinette to the point everyone hates her. Take this one-shot instead, people. You deserve it. : )  
> It's super late here and I'm sleepy, so you know how this Fic is going to be.  
> Also, Slytherclaw_Spice_and_Everything_Nice,  
> : )

Ladybug had seen better days.

Fighting Lila, dealing with Monsieur Pigeon, facing sentimonster Bugette, and heck, even fighting Hawkmoth had all been on the list of her either weirdest or completely horrifying days.

But, _honestly_. She’d seen better.

How she ended up on a rooftop on a fine Parisian evening, unable to move and rendered utterly helpless under an unexpected akuma’s effect? Well…

****__Twenty minutes prior__ ** **

The red and black heroine zipped across the skyline like she owned the wind. The orange and pink sky brightened her face as the cool wind, coupled with the mild humidity of the season blew against her whole form. She latched onto one roof after another, swinging and fighting against gravity as she pulled through the city on one of her weekly patrols.

She heard the sounds of the city, of busy Parisians, children laughing and chasing each other in the park, adults talking or calling one another, the cars zooming past on the roads. The smell of fresh bread in some corner, or a new perfume shop, or a flower stand, or a new fabric store all hitting her senses every time she lowered to the ground, making her feel a surge of pride for her beloved city. Making her feel proud of being able to protect this city of love, of lights, of life.

It was a great distraction from her every day mess of a life. Whenever she ran out of ideas or grew frustrated of math problems or felt like everything was piling up on her and weighing her down, Marinette felt like this was just the escape she needed to clear her mind. There was nothing better that an over-worked, part-time student part-time super heroine could ask for.

Finally settling on the top of Notre Dame, Ladybug looked around at the whole city one more time to make sure everything was alright and in place. Her sharper vision helped her make out the figures of the people all around her as she looked for something peculiar, even though she and Chat Noir mostly looked for akumas on the roofs (the baddies had a thing for letting themselves known over the rooftops). After all, it was all because of the existence of the miraculouses and their powers that innocent people had to deal with Hawkmoth every day. The least the heroes could do was use the same powers to ensure their safety.

Ladybug squinted when she found some figures on a roof. People, but all of them unmoving. Curiously, the super heroine started zipping towards the area. She cautiously landed there, and looked around. Ladybug walked up to one of the people, a man who was standing stiff and rather still, and she poked him. The man showed no movement.

“Huh?” Ladybug narrowed her shiny galactic blue eyes at all of them. It appeared to her that she’d seen all these figures before. “Jagged Stone?” She gasped as she saw the singer as well. She walked up to him and her eyes widened when she saw one of his arms missing. She was about to call him again in alarm, but sagged with relief once she realized it was a statue. Come to think of it, when she looked around at all the people, they were _all_ wax statues. Some of them were unrecognizable; the reason she couldn’t tell the difference. She found herself standing on a workshop, and figured that perhaps they were all either rejected or needed some sort of repairing.

Ladybug couldn’t help but smile. She was jumpy because of the adrenaline, that’s all _. Of course_ there was no akuma. Why would Hawkmoth send an akuma in the evening? He seemed to release the corrupted butterflies mostly around daytime or in the morning.

 _Yes_ , the time during which she is supposed to be in school. That butterfly ass.

The bluenette, so busy in calming down her nerves, didn’t for once notice a stealthy creature creeping up behind her. She looked up in the direction of the setting sun, her eyes glistening as she smiled to herself. She placed one hand on her hip and let the other behind her neck to rub the aching muscles lightly.

The figure, taking it as the perfect chance, sent a sizzling energy in her direction.

Ladybug didn’t even have the time to yelp in surprise as the magic surrounded her, blinding her for a second. When it dissipated and Ladybug tried to turn around to find its source, she realized that she couldn’t move. She couldn’t even morph her facial features into that of utter annoyance and dismay as she heard a shrill voice behind her.

“Yes, Hawkmoth! I have her. Don’t worry, she won’t be able to move a muscle. Of course not! I have been humiliated in a way no one would even think of in front of the one I _love_. I’ll make sure that my boss remains silent as a statue this time so that _I_ humiliate him in front of everyone! Then he’ll know what it’s like to be rendered completely vulnerable. MWAHAHAHA!”

Ladybug wanted to face palm so hard she knocked the universe out of its pattern.

Unfortunately, the akuma couldn’t notice her inner rage and exhaustion over this utter bullshit as she continued. “Oh, you don’t have to be so impatient, dear Hawkmoth. Once I take care of Jean, I’ll search for Chat Noir and send you both of their stupid jewels.” Ladybug felt a presence next to her ear from behind her, “For now, enjoy the lovely Parisian view, you little pest! HAHA!” Saying her departing words, the akuma flew away. (Or zapped away. Or jumped away. Or even farted away, for all Ladybug cared. She couldn’t fucking _see_.)

So yes, that was how Ladybug ended up on a rooftop, surrounded by statues, and for all the world looking like one herself.

 _Chat Noir…_ She prayed in her mind. _Please be around. Please figure out this sneaky akuma. Please find me here and try to free me… Even though I’m standing between statues and imitating one myself… Oh sweet mother of monkey milk. Of course that dimwit can’t figure this shit out. I’m helpless_.

What could she do? Look at the Parisian skyline, Of course.

With the (now fake) smile resting on her lovely cherry lips.

________________________

Chat Noir breathed into the air of freedom.

“Ah!” He smiled dopily and slide down a pole. His electric and impossibly green eyes scaled the horizon excitedly as he exhaled yet again. Good thing he had decided to transform, so he didn’t have to listen to Plagg whining about being assigned a lovesick idiot.

In his defense, the feline hero wasn’t always like this. There were just some… _times_ when he felt merrier than usual, the lonely feeling in his heart urging him to miss his beloved as he pictured different scenes of them being together. Whenever Chat Noir felt lonely and achingly single, he thought about Ladybug and sighed. She was so dreamy, so perfect and ethereal even when fighting beside him. It was these little things about her that sometimes made him a tad bit poetic. 

He thought he was the only one who could sneeze three times in a row, dump his head into mud, rub his face against concrete and still smile at the camera and look gorgeous. He thought wrong. 

Ladybug could stick a middle finger up, cross her eyes and stick out her tongue and still look like the picture of perfection, of a literal goddess blessed upon the city. (Yes. She’d done that once, if you’re wondering.)

Damn. He really felt single.

Chat Noir glanced at a couple kissing passionately on a bridge and sighed again, placing his hand on his heart. Oh, if only he could enjoy that wonderful feeling with his lady beside him. Sitting on a boat that took them away in the Seine covered in lovely rose petals as the birds chirped in the sky and a violin played somewhere in the background. If only Ladybug looked at him like he meant the world to her. If only she leaned towards him slowly and-

Okay, he’d been watching a lot of animes and reading too much mangas.

The reason he felt so cheesy was because he had recently watched Tamako Love Story. All that… slowburn and pain and yet _so much_ romance had _killed_ him. Tamako reminded him so much of his lady, with those midnight locks up in pigtails and her beautiful glimmering blue eyes… Chat Noir wondered if Ladybug looked like her under the mask.

He didn’t realize he’d been jumping around the roofs despite it not being his turn for patrol, until he stopped in front of a workshop. Chat Noir jumped onto its roof out of sheer curiosity as he observed his surroundings.

“Hm…” A statue workshop with extra statues lying on the roof. How very strange.

“I wonder why they’d leave them out here to waste.” He wondered out loud.

Ladybug heard his voice, and she would’ve jumped if she wasn’t turned into a statue. ‘ _Chat Noir! Here! I’m here!_ ’ She screamed, but only inside her head. She could hear the soft sound of his boots, the soft thud against the roof, the curious and steady beat of the way he walked. She could just about imagine his slightly suspicious and cautious stance as he peered at his surroundings with those cat-like eyes. But she couldn’t confirm it, because her head was turned towards the sky where the sun was just about to set, and her eyes were hurting. Ladybug thought that she probably looked pathetic.

She just wished her partner spotted her.

Chat Noir looked at all the statues one by one. He poked one of them in the nose with his staff and laughed. “Take that, _Enzo_. Always stealing my spotlight.” He said to the statue of a male model.

Ladybug waited with baited breath.

Chat Noir ran a hand over the shoulder of another old celebrity. “Oh, I wonder if you’re skin really is that soft in real life, or if it’s always all that makeup.” He muttered. He suddenly perked. “Oh! Ladybug!”

Ladybug felt that perhaps he had found her at last. Until he said,

“She must be on patrol today. I should call her.” He opened his baton and it beeped, “Hey, bugaboo! Thought I’d find you around on this fine evening! Meet me here on the top of this workshop. I’m sure you’ll love all these amazing statues here. Call me back!” He said cheerfully. Ladybug groaned internally.

‘ _Look around more and spot me, you idiot! There’s an akuma on the loose!_ ’ She wanted to shout in his face.

Finally, Chat Noir appeared in front of her, though she could just make out his figure in her peripheral vision. He strolled forward and turned his head towards her. And then he yelped.

“Ah! Ladybug! It’s you! How lovely-” Chat Noir paused and frowned. He walked closer and faced her now, and Ladybug could see his face clearly. The mangy cat was standing in her personal space. “My lady?” He asked.

She didn’t reply. She _couldn’t_ reply, goddammit.

His eyes suddenly turned from confused to understanding as he barked out a laugh. “Oh! It’s a statue! I almost thought- haha wow! LB definitely needs to see this.” He looked at his baton and frowned at not receiving an answer from her.

 _‘Come on, take a hint, take a hint, take a hint!_ ’ Ladybug urged.

Chat pursed his lips, and then shrugged. “Welp!” He said carelessly and snapped his weapon shut. “Guess I’ll just have to deal with a statue of my fair lady for tonight.”

He grew silent and continued to stare at the ‘statue’ for at least more than a minute. Ladybug grew mildly uncomfortable under his stare.

At last, he sighed breathily. “Wow…” He whispered in awe as he took a step closer, his face hovering in front of her. Ladybug could neither shudder nor twitch her eye.

“It looks so real…” He said. His eyes were wide and sparkling, his pupils that were otherwise slit-like now expanding and turning his irises dark black. He literally looked like the cat that got the cream.

Ladybug wanted to flinch as she felt his hand slowly reach up to touch her face. His fingers caressed her porcelain cheek so tenderly it made butterflies erupt in her stomach. “The wax is nearly as hot as skin!”

He patted himself on the back. “Thank you, Plagg, for giving me sharper senses so I can feel her.”

Ladybug’s brain halted.

‘ _feel her_ - _WH-WHAT?!’_

Her inner screams of frustration and confusion died again as her partner leaned against her, his nose brushing her collarbone. “It even smells exactly like her!”

Okay. She and Chat Noir were having a _serious_ talk after all of this was over.

Suddenly, his eyes narrowed as he looked around. Chat rounded Ladybug’s figure and said, “Well, the real Ladybug would never let me do this. And I’m feeling rather poetic today…” He trailed off. He placed his hand on her waist, giving the ‘statue’ the sultriest look she’d ever seen on him. Ladybug thought it was pretty hot. If there had been any other fan girl in her place, Ladybug was sure they would’ve been a turned on pile of wet goo on the floor.

“Oh, beautiful statue of Ladybug! Your wax is so soft…” He started as he cupped her cheek, “Your yak hair so silky,” He brushed his clawed hands into her midnight bangs, “Your eyes are so… blue!” He stared right into her eyes, and there was so much intensity in his own orbs that for a moment Ladybug forgot that they were wasting time and not searching for the akuma.

“Oh, shall I be a statue, too? Everything would be so much easier…” He said as his face neared hers and his hand that was on her waist slowly slid down to her hip. Ladybug didn’t know if it possible to have a heart attack and yet still remain standing still. If she wasn't a statue, she would've licked her lips. Oh god.

“Why haven’t we been molded together in the plaster of destiny?” He said as he placed his free hand over his forehead dramatically. He looked down again and his hold on her tightened. “—Marble to marble, wax lips against wax lips,” His voice turned into a low murmur as he traced her lower lip with his finger, biting his own lip with want and anticipation, “…Entwined for eternity.” He finished his speech and Ladybug watched, with eyes as wide as she could hardly get, as he sealed his declaration with a passionate kiss to a supposed ‘statue’.

Ladybug was pretty sure her heart nearly burst out of her chest.

His warm lips firmly pressed against hers, and after a moment she felt her limbs move. Her body lost the stiffness, and she inhaled through her nose sharply as she pulled back. Chat Noir only had the chance to widen his eyes in surprise and horror as she landed a well-deserved punch across his face. In anger? In panic? She didn't know! Okay?!

“You- You- You, _pervert!”_

“L-Ladybug!” He wheezed as he balanced himself. His face immediately turned scarlet in embarrassment and mortification. “M-m-my lady! Oh _Lord_ … Oh _fucking_ Lord-”

“Run, you asshole.” She gritted as she grabbed her yoyo. “You have until we defeat the akuma to think of your last words. And then we’re having a _talk_.”

_________________________________

After the akuma was defeated, Ladybug reached the top of the Eiffel tower and landed on the beam where Chat Noir was pacing worriedly. She kind of felt sorry for the poor guy. After all, she would’ve done the same thing if she had found a statue of Adrien, but still. There were some boundaries that he needed to know. And after the confession she heard back at that rooftop, she… she just…

They really needed to talk.

As soon as Chat Noir heard her steps behind him he jumped again and placed his hand on his chest, clutching it painfully. “Ah! Haha…” He chuckled nervously. His form looked dark in the night, the only light falling on his face being that of the city below them. He really looked guilty. “My Lady! I… I think I… Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that it was-”

“Yeah, I get it, Chat. You were just pulling a prank.” She said exasperatedly.

“Huh?” He asked dumbly and tilted his head in confusion. Ladybug rolled her eyes.

“You were pranking me, _I_ _get it_. You knew I was the real deal and you were pranking me by acting like you were talking to a statue. But I just wanted to talk to you about how we shouldn’t waste our time on silly jokes when there’s a city to save.” Chat Noir was still blinking at her.

 _‘I’m trying to save you from the embarrassment, idiot.’_ She said in her mind.

He finally seemed to get the idea and slumped. “Oh…” Was all he said. Ladybug walked up to him and shyly tucked a stand of hair behind her ear. “And your um, ah, kiss. I-I think I got rid of the effect because of the kiss. So… Yeah. Thanks for that.”

“Thanks for what?” He asked dumbly again.

“Thanks for not making the kiss awkward. You joked and it got easier for you to free me from the akuma’s powers.” Ladybug tried to ignore the way her lips still tingled with the memory of his warm and excited lips, and the thoughts of how skillful those lips could possibly be if given the permission… She quickly shoved the thoughts aside.

“But still… if anything like this e-ever happens again, you don’t have to fake up the setting. You can just get straight to the point so that we don’t waste any time and quickly get rid of the akuma, alright? Same goes for me. If it comes down to getting each other free from an akuma, we’re allowed to kiss.” When Chat Noir perked up, Ladybug quickly added, “P-Platonically. For saving Paris!” Her cheeks turned pink.

Chat Noir finally relaxed and gave her a crooked smile. “Sure, bugaboo. I’ll never play stupid pranks again. Cat’s Honor.”

She glanced at his curved lips, and quickly looked away.

“Yeah…” She said.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't kill me.
> 
> : )


End file.
